I’m going to the beach tomorrow for the third time this week with some mom friends, and as the reminder hit my head like a bolt of lightning, I let out an audible sigh of the burden that lie ahead. Before I continue, let the record state that immediately after that heavy sigh left my lips, I also realized how frig’n lucky I am to be able to take a trip to the beach, especially during the ‘winter months’. But let’s just explore the reason for the sigh, just to acknowledge it, move on and get it out of my system.

Going to the beach with a toddler is a feat. It is the Boston marathon of toddler activities. First there’s the fueling of the bodies with a hearty breakfast, me for all of the lugging that my muscles will have to endure over hot uneven sand, and my child for the endless minutes of sun blistering play.  Then there is the preparing of the snacks, because Lord knows you burn through calories like a hamster when you go to the beach. Next there’s the packing of all the beach crap, the aforementioned lugging of crap, and finally there’s the setting up of the crap, including but not limited to, arranging a clean blanket on the sand as a “safe area” that will immediately get trampled with sandy feet within the first 40 seconds.

Next comes play. You would think this would be a joyful experience, but haha, quite the contrary. Your next hour plus will be spent basically being a sand referee. Carefully watching with your invisible silver whistle to see when you should step in and intervene with the amount of sand your child is ingesting and/or putting in all accessible orifices. There is also the scanning of sharp seashells, dangerous rubbish, and marine life, particularly, washed up jellyfish. Snack time is a hoot, as you try in vain to protect your child’s strawberries from what inevitably become crunchy sand sprinkled strawberry-flavored sand blobs.

Once your sunburned and beaten bodies have had enough, its time to rinse everything off for no reason at all because its just gonna get sandy again (especially the toddler, don’t bother rinsing the toddler off AT ALL) then you’ll need to reverse haul all your now sand-covered belongings …which have multiplied and does not fit neatly back in your beach bag. It wouldn’t be so bad if your beach trip ended there, but the fact that you’ll find sand for weeks if not months throughout your clothes, car, and house will make you question your desire to ever go back. And if the thought does arise, ya just might let out a sigh.